Sometimes It Is Hard to Quit

Today, I withdrew from the class I was taking on conflict resolution. I was so conflicted about the class that I decided to quit. Ironic. I had to decide whether I could do all the things that I need to do as the preacher around here on four hours of sleep a night. I decided "probably not." The hardest thing about quitting was swallowing my pride and admitting there was something I couldn't do.

But the signs of my eminent demise were around. I had told Annette, "This may not go well. I said 'yes' to the conflict resolution class without saying 'no' to anything." I had heard in my head, "Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly." Rationalizations come easy at times like this. Finally I was in a Luke 14 world where Jesus told folks to count the cost before choosing discipleship. He said that we should not be like the king or the builder who began tasks with inadequate resources. I felt like I had promised to build a castle when all I had was one box of TinkerToys. Not bright.

Soooo... I am getting over being embarrassed at starting and having to stop.

The only deep reflection I have is that quitting something we need to quit is much better than hanging on to a task, a project, a habit when we know it is only stubborn pride making us hang on.